Nothin's changed but the surroundin' bullshit

Ok–right now–I’ve got Love and Peace of Else by U2 blaring over my computer speakers, and I am relatively lathered up from a night of drinking with Jones, Kampff and his German crew–whom I like to call "The Regulators."

This will be the first (possibly of many) of updates I bring you while drunk off of my ass. In order to bring you this update with a minimal amount of spelling errors, I have to type very slowly. Wait–I’m not actually typing that slowly. I’m actually typing at a pretty good clip, and it is due to my drunk-matrix-like focus. Wait.

Ok, I hope you’re enjoying this.

I’m drunk.

I sincerely hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. For those of you who didn’t make it home this week, you missed out on Corey Schzznzneenznzy, an appearance by JayMan, and Kampff made an appearance–although he apparently is German now.

Ok–seriously–I can’t see my monitor anymore (I’m about six inches from it). Enjoy your week, everybody. More updates coming soon!

Pearl Jam – Off He Goes……goooood song. I’m going to go look for a sweet picture to put into this entry. Hang on a sec.


I don’t really have anything worthy of a full entry this week, so I’m going to post some senseless drivel just to occupy some space and fulfill my promise of an update each Sunday. So, um, here it is.

A friend of mine recently related to me a dream he had, and what seemed to stick out the most was the section of the dream where sheep dogs were leaping amongst some popcorn. Needless to say, my friend was committed to an institution and happily ingests sixteen different medications each day.

I apologize for the crappy update, but I’ll try to make it up to you with the following picture:


Every so often I’ll post an entry like this that will consist of some random thoughts that have entered my head lately. The major reason for entries like this is because I can’t put together another long-winded essay about the travails of modern day society and my place in it. (See, that last sentence is purposefully designed to showcase my excellent vocabulary and grammatical skills, rather than illustrating a valid and interesting point.) So, without further ado, I present some short-winded essays on the travails of modern day society and my place in it.

  • The final episode of Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn aired Thursday night on Comedy Central. I think I voiced my approval for this show in an entry a long while ago, but I wanted to bring it up again because I thought it was a great show that never really got much attention.

    I’d never thought much of Quinn in anything he’d done up to this point, but I thought he shined on the show. It’s disappointing the network never gave the show a real chance to find an audience, especially in light of the fact that its lead-in was The Daily Show, and I don’t think I ever once heard Tough Crowd mentioned by Jon Stewart. It’s a shame. Let’s watch the parade of crap continue onward on the major networks (with LAX, Medical Investigation, Dr. Vegas, Center of the Universe, Still Standing, Yes Dear, My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, and Hawaii) while great shows quietly fade into the graveyard of TV’s past.
  • I haven’t written my review of the Pearl Jam show I went to see in Toledo yet, but I did want to mention the larger issue involved, the Vote For Change Tour that the band was part of, along with Bruce Springsteen, R.E.M., Jurassic 5, John Mellencamp, and others were a part of these past couple of months. The tour was a “grassroots” effort to generate support for John Kerry in the presidential race, and based on the outcome of the election, it did have an impact, though not as great as the organization might’ve liked. I may not agree with the choice of candidate, but I really admire the group’s efforts to drive people to the polls. I think the turnout (some 111 million voters) is evidence of their success, regardless of who won.
  • Went to the Bills/Cardinals game this past Sunday. Miserable weather, but the punting showcase that was the game was relatively entertaining. A win is a win. Hot dogs before the game made the trip to Orchard Park all worthwhile.
  • I paid a visit to Potsdam a few weekends ago, and the one disappointing conclusion I came to out of that weekend is that Greek life at Clarkson is not long for this world.
  • Too much of my free time recently has been spent playing the newest iteration of Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas. It has angered parental groups, Congress, and most of the religious coalition that considers itself the moral authority of American.

    But it’s back, folks, and more amoral than ever. It’s had a remarkable impact on me thus far; I sped my Jeep off of the Grand Canyon last Thursday, and dove out the side window (after shooting it wit’ mah nine, yo!) and parachuted to safety. This game is a corrupting influence in so many ways, and it ought not to be played by any self-respecting individual. But in what other game can you hijack a 747, bet on the ponies, r ride a BMX bike off an 8-story building and survive, flip a car 8 times through the air and land without a scratch, and assault a defenseless pimp with a sex toy?

  • Tedious hour by tedious hour at Adelphia passes, and the influx of retarded customers continues. Recent highlights include a customer that wants to know how to program their TV remote, a customer who would like us to explain why their contact list on their cell phone no longer appears, and a customer who accused Adelphia of "bait-and-switch" tactics because we do not offer services we never said we offered. Weeeeee!!!!
  • Let’s see, what else, ah yes–Vega$. A trip to Sin City is in the works for early March, and would be my first trip out there. As much as I look forward to gambling, it’ll be nice to get the EA crew together again for a drunken weekend of debauchery. I’d also like to get out to LA at some point to see Snake Attack, who has no doubt taken the city by storm ever since shedding his Yugoslavian haircut some years ago.

I may have another entry sometime this week, and I should have my review of the Toledo Pearl Jam show up shortly as well. The Question of the Week is another, well, week away. I’m hard at work thinking about starting to write a cgi script for it. I’ve also gotta put up the reviews for the Reviews section as well. So much to do, so little time…

Election Day

It’s obviously an important day for the United States. After all of the grueling, divisive, meandering political campaigns and maneuvering, the people finally get to lend their voice to the political process. The dependence of the country on the two party political system has never been stronger, and with a lack of any viable 3rd party candidate, we’re left with two candidates sorely lacking in the qualities I think most Americans would like to see in their President.

I think that if Americans can agree on anything, it would be that these two men are some of the weakest candidates in recent memory. Despite that, the voting public is required to choose one of them, and it is likely going to result in a choice of the lesser of two evils for most. It’s disappointing that the strongest country in the world is stuck with candidates of this kind of stature. Nevertheless, this election is so important to many because of the events since 9/11, and it’s created a rift-of-sorts throughout the country.

Ok, what the f am I talking about, I’m babbling like an incoherent chimp.

I’d like to speak briefly about the role the media has played over the last year. I don’t think I’ve ever seen more biased, slanted reporting in my life, and I don’t think it possibly could have been before I came into the world. Whether it’s Fox News blatant Bush supporting, or the major networks’ painfully obvious Liberalism and backing of Kerry, it’s hard to trust what you’re seeing and hearing on television anymore. I’d ask each and everyone of you not to take what you see or hear at face value–question everything you take in and research! This is your country and your future we’re talking about–take pride in that and do your part.

I know many of you are disillusioned with Bush and his actions, and are probably voting for Kerry because he’s the aforementioned "lesser or two evils." The great thing about this site is that I can say whatever the hell I want, even though I feel like this entry has become a little too objective. I’m voting for Bush, and am happy to do so, "lesser evil" or no. I think he’s led this country through an exceedingly difficult time. Despite the losses the economy suffered early in his term, it’s been on the rebound in the last year, and I believe it will continue to do so. You may think Iraq has turned into a disaster, and the media certainly has done nothing to discount that view, but I feel better knowing Hussein is behind bars and is no longer able to torture and murder his own citizens. I’m not going to get into the WMD argument, the terrorist haven argument, etc, etc. (but you’re welcome to debate me off-site), but I believe Bush to be a better commander-in-chief and overall leader than Kerry ever could be. I think Kerry’s stance on the war would be a dangerous one if he were President, and while it may improve our status and image in the global community in the short-term, I fear the long-term consequences of a weak military stance in the Mideast could yield heavy consequences.

Regardless, I just hope everyone has registered and will vote today. Just show that you care about the direction of this country and that you care about who represents you here at home and abroad. Show the rest of the world how much we care about being involved and I think it sets a greater example for them than any political candidate could. Okay, I’m babbling again.

I wish you all well. I’m going to submit this column to Gomlak and hope he gives me an A for social studies.