Author: admin

I’m debating whether or not to apologize for last week’s entry and whether or not it’s a sign of a larger problem. Alright, nothin’ doin’. I will not apologize for being ripped. Life’s too short not to be ripped at least six times a month. I am confident you agree with me.

Thanksgiving was a good, if low-key, affair this year. A few high school chums came into town for the short week and we mainly just hung out at the townie bars in East Aurora. Never did get to see Jamie, as her plane got stuck in Syracuse or Rochester or West Jahunga.

Man, I’m reading that last paragraph and low-key is right. How about freaking dead on arrival?

My friend Lauren, a fellow Clarksonsite, was home for the week as well as I am indebted to she and her family for providing me with my allowance of turkey for the holiday. I worked 12-8:30 on Thanksgiving and the family was down in Ohio so it was going to be a solo effort this year if not for her. Much obliged. I’ll be venturing up to Connecticut at some point to crash East Hartford, with Lauren’s guidance. I hear it’s just like Boston there, just without that "Boston feel."

In my mind, that last sentence was hilarious, because I’m basically pointing out that East Hartford is nothing like Boston. Do you get it?

I’m retardedaag;lakjfh;ladjh;ajh;ailej;lagh

Sorry, I can’t compose an entry in the guise of my usual witty self. This entry sucks. I’ll try to do better next time, but I’m lacking any sort of inspiration right now. I spent the day composing a far-too-long grievance directed to my boss with regard to the problems I see in the Adelphia chat program. If that sounds exciting to you, well lemme tell ya–it’s not and you need to get out more.

I’ll try to do better next week. I promise. And I’m working on getting the remaining incomplete sections of the site updated as well, the Question of the Week in particular is sorely in need of implementation. Patience is a virtue…

Ok–right now–I’ve got Love and Peace of Else by U2 blaring over my computer speakers, and I am relatively lathered up from a night of drinking with Jones, Kampff and his German crew–whom I like to call "The Regulators."

This will be the first (possibly of many) of updates I bring you while drunk off of my ass. In order to bring you this update with a minimal amount of spelling errors, I have to type very slowly. Wait–I’m not actually typing that slowly. I’m actually typing at a pretty good clip, and it is due to my drunk-matrix-like focus. Wait.

Ok, I hope you’re enjoying this.

I’m drunk.

I sincerely hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. For those of you who didn’t make it home this week, you missed out on Corey Schzznzneenznzy, an appearance by JayMan, and Kampff made an appearance–although he apparently is German now.

Ok–seriously–I can’t see my monitor anymore (I’m about six inches from it). Enjoy your week, everybody. More updates coming soon!

Pearl Jam – Off He Goes……goooood song. I’m going to go look for a sweet picture to put into this entry. Hang on a sec.

I don’t really have anything worthy of a full entry this week, so I’m going to post some senseless drivel just to occupy some space and fulfill my promise of an update each Sunday. So, um, here it is.

A friend of mine recently related to me a dream he had, and what seemed to stick out the most was the section of the dream where sheep dogs were leaping amongst some popcorn. Needless to say, my friend was committed to an institution and happily ingests sixteen different medications each day.

I apologize for the crappy update, but I’ll try to make it up to you with the following picture:

Every so often I’ll post an entry like this that will consist of some random thoughts that have entered my head lately. The major reason for entries like this is because I can’t put together another long-winded essay about the travails of modern day society and my place in it. (See, that last sentence is purposefully designed to showcase my excellent vocabulary and grammatical skills, rather than illustrating a valid and interesting point.) So, without further ado, I present some short-winded essays on the travails of modern day society and my place in it.

• The final episode of Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn aired Thursday night on Comedy Central. I think I voiced my approval for this show in an entry a long while ago, but I wanted to bring it up again because I thought it was a great show that never really got much attention.
  
  I’d never thought much of Quinn in anything he’d done up to this point, but I thought he shined on the show. It’s disappointing the network never gave the show a real chance to find an audience, especially in light of the fact that its lead-in was The Daily Show, and I don’t think I ever once heard Tough Crowd mentioned by Jon Stewart. It’s a shame. Let’s watch the parade of crap continue onward on the major networks (with LAX, Medical Investigation, Dr. Vegas, Center of the Universe, Still Standing, Yes Dear, My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, and Hawaii) while great shows quietly fade into the graveyard of TV’s past.
• I haven’t written my review of the Pearl Jam show I went to see in Toledo yet, but I did want to mention the larger issue involved, the Vote For Change Tour that the band was part of, along with Bruce Springsteen, R.E.M., Jurassic 5, John Mellencamp, and others were a part of these past couple of months. The tour was a “grassroots” effort to generate support for John Kerry in the presidential race, and based on the outcome of the election, it did have an impact, though not as great as the organization might’ve liked. I may not agree with the choice of candidate, but I really admire the group’s efforts to drive people to the polls. I think the turnout (some 111 million voters) is evidence of their success, regardless of who won.
• Went to the Bills/Cardinals game this past Sunday. Miserable weather, but the punting showcase that was the game was relatively entertaining. A win is a win. Hot dogs before the game made the trip to Orchard Park all worthwhile.
• I paid a visit to Potsdam a few weekends ago, and the one disappointing conclusion I came to out of that weekend is that Greek life at Clarkson is not long for this world.
• Too much of my free time recently has been spent playing the newest iteration of Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas. It has angered parental groups, Congress, and most of the religious coalition that considers itself the moral authority of American.
  
  But it’s back, folks, and more amoral than ever. It’s had a remarkable impact on me thus far; I sped my Jeep off of the Grand Canyon last Thursday, and dove out the side window (after shooting it wit’ mah nine, yo!) and parachuted to safety. This game is a corrupting influence in so many ways, and it ought not to be played by any self-respecting individual. But in what other game can you hijack a 747, bet on the ponies, r ride a BMX bike off an 8-story building and survive, flip a car 8 times through the air and land without a scratch, and assault a defenseless pimp with a sex toy?

• Tedious hour by tedious hour at Adelphia passes, and the influx of retarded customers continues. Recent highlights include a customer that wants to know how to program their TV remote, a customer who would like us to explain why their contact list on their cell phone no longer appears, and a customer who accused Adelphia of "bait-and-switch" tactics because we do not offer services we never said we offered. Weeeeee!!!!
• Let’s see, what else, ah yes–Vega$. A trip to Sin City is in the works for early March, and would be my first trip out there. As much as I look forward to gambling, it’ll be nice to get the EA crew together again for a drunken weekend of debauchery. I’d also like to get out to LA at some point to see Snake Attack, who has no doubt taken the city by storm ever since shedding his Yugoslavian haircut some years ago.

I may have another entry sometime this week, and I should have my review of the Toledo Pearl Jam show up shortly as well. The Question of the Week is another, well, week away. I’m hard at work thinking about starting to write a cgi script for it. I’ve also gotta put up the reviews for the Reviews section as well. So much to do, so little time…

The vision that’s been an astonishing 24 years in the making has finally reached cyberspace. That’s right, folks, the brand spanking new Jeff-Fischer.Net has, at long last, opened its doors for business. What kind of “business,” you ask? Well, I’ll tell you: I’m selling handbags made by the local senior citizens center to benefit charity!

Ok, not really. As I’m sure my loyal readers know by now, this site is devoted to all things Fischer, as well as some of the things the Fischdawg happens to think you might find interesting. You didn’t mishear me; Fischdawg now refer to himself in the 3rd person. Fischdawg’s NBA contract can’t be far away now! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeeeeeeh! Fischdawg apologizes for this outburst, but come on, you can’t keep a good dawg down, sucka!

I’ll make a solemn vow–here and now–to update this site each and every Sunday night. A bold move, to be sure, I think I’ve got the site designed so that I can easily update individual pieces without too much effort or difficulty. That obviously makes it a lot easier to update the site more often, as I don’t have to get bogged down by having to figure out where to put the newest animated gif of a chimp washing a cat or making a bombing run in a biplane. So, this I promise: each and every Sunday night, there will be an update. It may be a small one (the aformentioned chimp gif), it may be a large one (a new site log entry, perhaps). Beat that, atomine!

Well, here’s a thought… Thinking about web pages, as I so often do, it occurs to me that Fischer.Net still leaves something to be desired in the style department. So what is the solution, you ask? Okay, well maybe you didn’t ask but I’m going to tell you just the same. The answer, my friends, is the wonderful world of PHP! That’s right, I’ve come to the conclusion that Fischer.Net is in need of some slambang, wizerrific php foundation work. It will undoubtedly vault the site into the 28th century of cool. At least for the five or so people who regularly visit the site. So enjoy, my Five Musketeers, this new look is for you! Stay tuned for the latest updates in the continuing saga that is the life of the indomitable Mr. Fischer. Cheers!