Category: Movie Reviews

directors: Robert Rodriguez & Quentin Tarantino
starring: Rose McGowan, Kurt Russell, Freddy Rodriguez, Josh Brolin, Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn, Naveen Andrews, Marley Shelton, Bruce Willis, etc, etc, etc.

While Grindhouse is actually made up of two separate films, I’m going to review the whole shebang as one experience, as it is just that–an “experience.” If you haven’t heard, Grindhouse is an ambitious double feature conceived by directors Robert Rodriguez (Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn, Sin City) and Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill) that hearkens back to the “grindhouse” era of film in the seventies. You could plunk down your four or five bucks and be treated to back-to-back flicks about zombies or car chases or vampires or ruthless women seeking revenge, along with a whole host of trailers for similar films “coming soon.” Those types of nights at the movie theaters would be real events, the kind of thing you often hear your parents relate about their youth, and from actors and directors who grew up going to the theaters on Saturday nights to see these films, and thus inspired them to take up that very pursuit. The thing is, I never experienced any of that. Everything I’ve heard about it has been second and thirdhand, so I only have this vague grasp on the overall concept.

Continue reading “Grindhouse | A-“

director: Shane Black
starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan

Writer/director Shane Black, who I’ll always remember fondly from his role as Sgt. Hawkins in Predator, has had a solid career as a screenwriter in Hollywood, most notably penning the Lethal Weapon movies. He’s a great writer, though his strengths lean more toward snappy dialogue than coherent plotting. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is a perfect example of that strength and weakness. It’s got dialogue so crisp and entertaining that you’ll be repeating lines well after seeing the film, but a meandering mess of a plot that one will struggle to make sense of well after seeing the film.

The actors certainly appear to be having a great time with all that dialogue as well. Downey, Jr. and Kilmer deliver their lines with such obvious enthusiasm that everyday life on the set must’ve been a hoot.

We now pause for reflection after such blindingly fantastic use of the word, “hoot.”

…

Continue reading “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang | B”

director: Richard Donner
starring: Bruce Willis, Mos Def, David Morse, Jenna Stern

Richard Donner is a solid director with a great track record. The Lethal Weapon series. The Goonies. Conspiracy Theory. Die Hard With A Vengeance. Superman. He’s directing? Sign me up. 16 Blocks is by no means a black mark on his resume, but it ain’t Shakespeare either. Not that any of his films have been; he has a penchant for making smart, gritty action flicks that inject generous amounts of humor into the characters. 16 Blocks, while entertaining, is missing some of the humorous spirit and “smartness” that have made his previous films so enjoyably memorable.

Our plot features a broken-down alcoholic of a police detective in the twilight of his career (Willis) tasked with transporting a witness (Mos Def) in protective custody sixteen blocks (get it?!) to the courthouse so he can testify in a high-profile trial. Hilarity ensues as we find out Def is going to be testifying against a number of NYPD police detectives implicated in all manner of corrupt ventures. I leave the rest of the plot up to you, the viewer, to discover for yourself.

Continue reading “16 Blocks | B-“

director: Zack Snyder
starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham

AAARRRGGHHHHHH!!!! THIS SHALL BE MY REVIEW OF THE NEW FILM 300, FEATURING ALL MANNER OF BRUTAL SLAUGHTER AT THE HANDS OF MIGHTY SPARTAAAAAA! YOU CAN ONLY BOW DOWN AND TREMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHT OF MY LITERARY WIZARDRY AS I BLOW YOUR MIND WITH MY BOMBASTIC PROSE! I ESPECIALLY LIKED DIRECTOR ZACK SNYDER’S USE OF SHADOWING TO HIGHLIGHT THEMATIC SHIFTS IN TONE!

If that’s a movie review on steroids, 300 is the film equivalent, ratcheting up testosterone levels to the point the male members of the audience are ready to start leaping over theater seats to do battle with one another, as King Leonidas leads his squad of 300 Spartans against the million-fold hordes of the Persian Empire in the legendary Battle of Thermopylae. If you’re looking for a history lesson, however, you may want to flip on the History Channel. 300 is more about romanticized sword-wielding and skull-bashing than accurately recounting one of the great battles in history. There’s lots of yelling and bloodletting and boobies, everything the modern American male needs, amirite? I’m guessing the ladies won’t mind the visuals either, as every male actor seems to have undergone a high-impact training regimen led by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Continue reading “300 | A-“

director: David Fincher
starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey, Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Chloë Sevigny, Anthony Edwards, Brian Cox, John Carroll Lynch

A quick word of warning. While this film is faithfully based on real-life events, I’m sure there are many people completely unaware of the full details of the case and its current status. Thus, it’s probably not a good idea to read this review before first familiarizing yourself with the case and/or seeing the flick. If you’ve got next to no working knowledge of the story, then I’ll just leave you with my urging to see the flick. It’s great. Spoilers abound in the review below.

The epic film adaptation of the grisly Zodiac killings in 1960’s San Francisco has arrived, courtesy of the reliable hands of director David Fincher. Aside from the fascinating story itself, Fincher is one of the great American directors working in film today, and his name in the credits is enough for me to hop onboard. The subject matter itself, though, is the big attraction here. I’ll leave it to Wikipedia to summarize the high points:

The Zodiac Killer was a serial killer who operated in Northern California for ten months in the late 1960s. He coined his name in a series of taunting letters he sent to the press until 1974. His letters included four cryptograms, three of which have yet to be solved.

The killer’s identity remains unknown. The San Francisco Police Department marked its investigation “inactive” in April 2004 and reopened it some time before March 2007. The case remains open in other jurisdictions as well. [Wikipedia]

Continue reading “Zodiac | A”

director: Alejandro González Iñárritu
starring: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Hassan, Rinko Kikuchi, Adriana Barraza, Boubker Ait El Caid

If you’re looking for a fun, light, and entertaining night out at the movies, go see something else. Babel caters more to the audience that would like a stiff drink and then a walk off a balcony after the end credits roll. I may be overstating it a bit, but Babel is the kind of movie you need to be in the right mindset to watch, much like a Schindler’s List. That being said, it is a film worth watching, as nearly all facets are superbly done–the acting, the direction, the cinematography, and the writing all make for an excellently-crafted film.

The acting is all great, but I’m not going to dwell on it–you’re sure to have seen and heard enough about it in the weeks leading up to Oscar night. Brad Pitt in particular shows he’s not just a Hollywood pretty-boy, but the entire cast is uniformly excellent. It’s hard not to be emotionally affected by each character’s plight and ultimate fate, because of the great performances. As much as the film could be construed as nothing more than an Oscar-pandering vanity project, it does carry with it an important message.

Continue reading “Babel | A-“

director: Mark Steven Johnson
starring: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Sam Elliott, Wes Bentley, Peter Fonda

Yet another example of everything Hollywood can do wrong. Take a promising, unique idea, send it through the Blockbuster Schlock Assembly Line, making it palatable for the widest possible audience, and in the process rip any semblance of originality and spirit from it. What could’ve been the foundation of a long-running, quality franchise instead shows up as a mediocre, half-assed, flaming turd that’ll be forgotten by audiences after a couple of box office weekends. Congrats, Tinseltown, you’ve done it again with Ghost Rider.

The film, based on the popular Marvel comic book, began its journey to the screen in the hands of screenwriter David Goyer (Blade, Batman Begins). Goyer’s script rightly depicted the character as a dark, vengeful anti-hero who carried out his duties as Satan’s bounty hunter while living the life of a daredevil stuntman, struggling mightily to reconcile the nightmarish acts of vengeance he commits nightly with his desire to live a normal life and have a family. The deal he made with the devil years ago, while giving him supernatural abilities with which to combat evil, also prevents him from having any real emotional ties to family or friends–his existence is pure, unending torture–a torture that will never cease as long as there are souls who need punishing. That’s a nice, juicy starting point to create a film.

Continue reading “Ghost Rider | C-“

director: Martin Scorsese
starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen

My initial reaction to seeing the trailer for The Departed last year consisted of both excitement for a new Scorsese picture and reluctant pessimism at the line-up of all-stars in the cast. Rarely do you see a Hollywood flick these days with an “all-star cast” that doesn’t end up disappointing. The unfortunate part about being a well-known, successful actor is that they become so well-known that it’s nearly impossible to see them as just a character. Case-in-point: Jack Nicholson. You catch one glimpse of him in the trailer with his patented eyebrow raise and you see him as the larger-than-life Hollywood icon instead of a Boston mob boss. The same goes for Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Leo DiCaprio and the rest of the cast. At first glance, it’s impossible to get the past that they’re huge Hollywood actors that signed up for the project to pad out their resumes. Thus, I haven’t seen the film, which came out October 6th, until just last night on DVD.

Shame on me for not recognizing the fact that the reason these guys are all successful, well-known icons is that they’re pretty damn good at what they do. The opening scene, with a Nicholson voiceover, goes from distracting to enveloping as it paints the broad strokes of the dark, gritty underbelly of South Boston–Nicholson’s Frank Costello as its’ thug-in-chief. We’re steadily introduced to the rest of our all-star cast of characters and their surprisingly convincing Bah-stan accents. Once you get past the intial adjustment period of seeing these stars with goofy accents, their talent takes over and you’re caught up in the story. After all, aren’t Boston accents goofy in reality, anyway? (Apologies to all Boston readers with goofy accents.)

Continue reading “The Departed | A”

director: Frank Sebastiano
starring: Artie Lange, Ralph Macchio, Cara Buono, Seymour Cassel

Shakespeare it ain’t, but fans of Howard Stern and Artie Lange alike will find plenty to appreciate about the latter’s crass, new comedy vehicle, Beer League. Written by SNL/Letterman writer Frank Sebastiano and comedian/Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange, the movie centers around–guess what–a beer league softball team. If you’re unfamiliar with “beer leagues,” just add cases of beer to a few softball teams and you’ve got yourself a beer league. Simple in its’ utter genius. Said team is composed of a bunch of sloppy, drunk malcontents trying to hang onto the faded glory of their youth.

I’m not sure I should really try to analyze Beer League too much deeper, as that would be missing the point. It’s got laughs, beer, cursing and naked women, all in gratuitous amounts. That information alone should be enough to help make your decision on whether to view or not. It’s not gonna win any awards (just like this review), and the production budget looks to have been 20 bucks and a keg of beer, but it’s funny enough to be worth a watch for those who aren’t offended easily. I put about as much work into this review as they did into the movie. Or at least, as much as the appearance of the effort they made; I’m sure they worked hard. If you’re a Stern fan, Beer League is obviously a must-see, if only because you can join in on the ball-busting Artie gets on a daily basis during the show. So, there you go. Beer League.

Oh, and the Karate Kid is in it, albeit sans crane kicks and Mr. Miyagi. Disappointing, I know. This review will undoubtedly be revised or deleted altogether shortly, just because its quality is so overwhelming that every other post I’ve written on this site pales in comparison. So if you’re reading this, consider yourself one of the lucky few to have glimpsed this gem.

directors: Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris
starring: Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Steve Carrell, Abigail Breslin, Adam Arkin

While the movie-going masses spend their hard-earned cash going to see recycled dreck like Night at the Museum ($168M and counting), they’re missing out on something all the mega-budgets in Hollywood can’t buy: a great script that turned into a great, great film in the hands of some great writers, directors and actors. Little Miss Sunshine, written by Michael Arndt, is a dark comedy about a dysfunctional (that’s putting it mildly) family brought together by little Olive, the titular character they’re desperately trying to get to a beauty pageant in California.

Sunshine brought in around $60M at the box office, making it a successful independent film, but that number also means there are far too many people who haven’t seen it. I refuse to believe this kind of dark comedy isn’t to everyone’s taste, either; great filmmaking should be to everyone’s taste. Seemingly undiscovered gems like this movie deserve more than just critical acclaim; increased audience attention ($$$) assures great films like Little Miss Sunshine will keep getting made. And seeing movies like this makes up for having to sit through stinkers like The Longest Yard and the aforementioned Night at the Museum.

Continue reading “Little Miss Sunshine | A+”