Category: Movie Reviews

director: Pete Travis
writer: Barry Levy
starring: Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, Forest Whitaker, William Hurt, Sigourney Weaver, Eduardo Noriega

A self-proclaimed “thriller” that doesn’t thrill so much as it devolves into another generic Hollywood product that’ll do good business opening weekend before fading from the consciousness of every moviegoer that sees it. I know, this is a refrain you’ve heard me start reviews with many times, but seeing as 85% of the stuff in the mutiplexes ain’t that great, what choice do I have?

Vantage Point’s story focuses on the assassination attempt of the U.S. president as a peace summit in Spain, the gimmick being that it’s told from the different perspectives of eight strangers with eight different points-of-view. That concept makes the movie relatively interesting for the first half, though by the time we get to the eighth recounting of the same event, it’s a little grating. The eight vantage points converge in the final act, but there’s no real pay-off. There’s no great revelation or “holy cow!” moment where our preconceptions are turned on their ear. You can see the finish line of the movie from a distance, so there’s no surprise and thus no real enjoyment.

Continue reading “Vantage Point | C+”

director: Matt Reeves
writer: Drew Goddard
starring: Michael Stahl-David, Lizzy Caplan, Odette Yustman, Jessica Lucas, T.J. Miller

If you haven’t seen this yet, stop reading now, close your browser, shut off your computer, and get to the theater to see Cloverfield. Don’t read or watch anything about it. Three pieces of advice, though: if you couldn’t handle the shaky-cam style of movies like Bourne Ultimatum, you probably won’t make it through this flick (much to your loss); watch everything in the movie carefully; and stay after the credits.

Here’s some filler text so the formatting of this post doesn’t get screwed up before the “Click here to continue reading…” link. Blabbity blah blah blah, look at how sweet nonsensical text can be. Here’s my impression of Miss South Carolina in that Youtube video in my last post: “I personally believe vacuum cleaner, dishrag, chocolate pie, catnip, PVC pipe.” A true inspiration to America. If you haven’t seen the movie and are still reading, then you’re being foolish and might also be the type of person that enjoys conversing with the aformentioned beauty queen. “Duffel bag, stove, dial-up modem.” There; that should do it. Enjoy the review.

Continue reading “Cloverfield | A”

director: Stephen Soderbergh
starring: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Al Pacino, Ellen Barkin, Matt Damon, Eliot Gould, Andy Garcia, Carl Reiner

Author’s note: I wrote this several months ago and it got lost in the shuffle of all my other wildly popular posts. So, here’s my review to prep you for catching it on DVD.

Another fun jaunt through Vegas comes courtesy of the all-star cast and crew of Ocean’s 13, the third flick telling the tale of Danny Ocean (Clooney) and his misfit crew of lovable criminals embarking on a revenge heist at the newest, most lavish hotel on the Strip.

After the (relative) misfire of Ocean’s 12 and its European locale, it’s nice to see the crew back in Vegas. The city’s a character in and of itself, and adds the kind of ambiance that makes these movies work so well. It’s a call-back to the heyday of the Sinatra Vegas–the Vegas populated by charismatic mobsters, no-nonsense gamblers, crooning showmen, and high-class style. Today, we’ve got screaming kids and overweight couples in spandex populating the casinos. It ain’t quite the same. The look and–more importantly–the style of Ocean’s 13 is a bittersweet reminder of how it used to be in Vegas. (Take it from me; I’m 68 years old.)

Enough about that; the movie itself has the same hip style the first two did, with the focus directed more towards the “fun” of 11 than the dry and sometimes unwanted sarcasm of 12. Returning to Vegas has a lot to do with that, as that town is where these characters are truly in their element.

Pretty good; better than the second, but the first is still the gold standard. Some of 13 felt like they were just going through the motions–fun motions, mind you, but still in the “old hat” category of motions. Let’s all do the locomotion.

director: Francis Lawrence
starring: Will Smith, a German shepherd

Lots o’ potential. Lots o’ cop-outs. The Hollywoodimazation of Richard Matheson’s semi-classic novel starts off surprisingly well before taking a turn onto Predictable Street in the town of Clicheville. The review from here on out will feature spoilers from both the book and the movie, so I urge you to stop reading and head to your local Waldenbooks to pick up the novel. Take a day or two, read it, then decide if you want to drop the ten bucks on a flick that pales in comparison…but isn’t that bad.

Anyway, the first two-thirds of the film are very close in tone and plotting to the book, something I never expected going into it. and that makes it all the more disappointing that the climax and conclusion of the film veer off the tracks, favoring the cliched, “safe” choices studios make far too often. I’d give the audience more credit than they do. Theatergoers can deal with downbeat endings if they’re done well. The talent behind this project is skilled enough, to my eyes, to have pulled it off, but we’ll never know. Instead, we get an uplifting if somber “happily ever after” for the human race.

Continue reading “I Am Legend | B-“

director: Paul Greengrass
starring: Matt Damon, Joan Allen, David Strathairn, Julia Stiles, Albert Finney, Scott Glenn

The first two Bourne flicks brought new life to the genre of “taut action thrillers,” placing an emphasis on realism despite managing to “wow” the audience with non-stop action and suspense in the form of frenetic hand-to-hand combat, rooftop acrobatics and heart-pounding car chases. The term “realism” wouldn’t seem synonymous with said brawls or car chases in a Hollywood action flick, but therein lies the reason for the success of these movies–everything is ground in reality. And while you’re liable to see things in The Bourne Ultimatum you’ve never seen before, there never comes a point where you’ll say, “that’s impossible” and chalk it up to Hollywood digital effects or trick camera shots.

Speaking of camera shots, let’s get the one “negative” out of the way: the oft-maligned “shaky-cam,” wherein most of director Paul Greengrass’ shots are handheld. While it gives the director a lot more freedom in terms of shot-making, it also means you’re not going to see steadicam or fixed shots of two characters talking to each other, or smooth panning shots of action sequences. It’s down and dirty, and doesn’t work for everyone. The camera work will undoubtedly turn a lot of people off, but I’m a fan of the technique. It gets the audience right in there with the characters, whether in the midst of a bare-knuckle brawl or a tense conversation between two people. Unfortunately, many people will dislike the film because of it, to their loss.

Continue reading “The Bourne Ultimatum | A”

director: David Yates
starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Imelda Staunton

With the release of the final Harry Potter book coming at the end of next week, there’s a strange sense that we’re about to lose something great–that the last book will leave us wanting more, even though it will likely end on the perfect note if author J.K. Rowling’s track record has anything to say about it. The books have been so good, and so voraciously consumed by their readers, that it’s going to leave a large void to fill after reading the final page of the seventh book. Well, fret not, because we’ve still got three more Harry Potter flicks to go, which thus far have provided just as much enjoyment as the books, and the fifth entry in the film version of the mega-franchise is no exception.

Order of the Phoenix continues the progression of the franchise into a more “adult” world, which makes sense when you figure the young audiences that saw the first film are growing right along with Harry and the actors who play the beloved characters. The three primaries (Radcliffe, Watson, and Grint) all appear very comfortable in their roles, and the chemistry between them helps immeasurably in conveying a convincing picture of three best friends willing to do anything for one another.

Continue reading “Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix | A”

director: Michael Bay
starring: Peter Cullen, Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Jon Voight, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson

I’m still not sure what to make of Michael Bay. He’s either a brilliant, tour-de-force film auteur, or a child all jacked up on Mountain Dew and drugs with the attention span of a screech monkey. He’s made a few decent films, but nothing that screams intelligence or subtlety or “good story.” Most of the time, his flicks have the feel of a music video playing at hyperspeed. Either way, his films are some of the most visually striking in the history of the medium, and Transformers is certainly no exception. In fact, it may even be his best film to date, as a focus on action is exactly what a movie based on a kid’s cartoon, comic book and toy line should probably have. Thus, don’t expect heaps of thought-provoking character development and exposition in the 2:23 running time.

If you’re not familiar with the aforementioned toy line, cartoon and comic book, The Transformers was a television series that aired started in 1984, depicting a war between giant robots who could transform into vehicles, animals, and other objects. In actuality, the show was also meant as a promotional vehicle for the wildly popular toy line, of which I was a large fan in my formative years. I remember very much enjoying transforming cars and planes into giant robots…at least until they eventually broke–and they all did eventually break. There are drawers and boxes across America filled with Transformer heads and hands and guns that have broken off.

Continue reading “Transformers | B+”

director: Len Wiseman
starring: Bruce Willis, Timothy Olyphant, Justin Long, Maggie Q

Well, I’d like to say they knocked this one out of the park, but I think the first impressions I had when first seeing the trailer for this some months ago were just about right. Live Free or Die Hard is a Die Hard movie in name only. The trailers I saw certainly featured the bloodied cop we all know and love, but they also featured a whiny computer nerd, a relative lightweight actor in the villain’s role, and a whole heap of special effects shots that relied more on spectacle than character.

Now, I’m not saying the Die Hard movies are deep studies in character development, on the contrary–they’re meant to be loud, enjoyable popcorn flicks with an R-rated edge. But it’s always been the wisecracking John McClane as the plot’s driving force, not flying cars and fighter jets. And don’t get me started on the now overuse of “hackers” in movies, who can press five keys and shut down power grids, reroute traffic, and wipe out the country’s finances.

Continue reading “Live Free or Die Hard | C+”

director: Gore Verbinski
starring: Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy, Chow Yun-Fat, Stellan SkARRRRRsgård

The third chapter in the swashbuckling extravaganza that is the Pirates of the Caribbean has hit theaters, and while it’s an amazing achievement in the realm of visual arts, it leaves a lot to be desired in the story and resonance departments. Weighing at a whopping 168 minutes, At World’s End is a bloated, effects-laden monstrosity; emblematic of the upper echelons of the Hollywood blockbuster.

I’ll spare you the details of the story, and since there really isn’t one, that won’t be too difficult. Every line of dialogue in the film could’ve been replaced with, “ARRRR!!!” or “AVAST, ME HEARTIES!!!” and it wouldn’t have made any difference in the audience’s understanding of what’s going on. Seriously, there’s no complicated plot details to get caught up in. It’s a convoluted skeleton of a story that serves only to get you to the next jaw-dropping special effects sequence. And therein lies the reason to see the movie. The effects are unbelievably good, and likely the best to ever come out of Hollywood thus far (all apologies to George “What Plot?” Lucas and his Star Wars prequels).

Continue reading “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End | B”

director: Sam Raimi
starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Thomas Hayden-Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard

Whoops. Sony Pictures won’t have to worry about losing any money on the third film in the Spider-Man series, as it’s likely going to set all kinds of box office records this weekend. I’d like to say it’ll earn that money because it’s such a great movie, but alas–it’s a mess. As was the case with the much maligned Batman franchise (before its reinvention with Christopher Nolan’s magnificent Batman Begins), the third Spider-Man flick tries to do too much in an effort to pack as many action set pieces and villains as possible into its’ bloated 2.5 hour running time instead of focusing on the heart of any great movie: the script. Joel Schumacher almost destroyed the Batman franchise when he took over on Batman Forever and Batman & Robin, and while Sam Raimi hasn’t nearly destroyed Spider-Man, he hasn’t left us going in the right direction.

Continue reading “Spider-Man 3 | B-“