Californication: The Conclusion

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Chapter 6: NoHo…Time to Go

Much like a Sunday evening after an amazing weekend, a melancholy starts to set in at the end of a trip, knowing you’ll have to return to the daily grind of your everyday life shortly. Despite that sorrowful attitude, I was determined to enjoy my last day in California by binge drinking, breaking into a Hollywood studio and riding a golf cart at high speeds through an active movie set before driving off a cliff as the cart exploded in a final blaze of glory. OR…I would have dinner with my sister and fall asleep on her couch. I won’t spoil the suspense, but I will say that one of those two things DID happen. So get ready for some excitement…

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Californication: Part Four

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Chapter 4: NoCal Swan Song

Having watched a bit of the classic WarGames, starring Matthew Broderick, just before bed last night, I woke with visions of global thermonuclear war and the ensuing apocalypse in my head. I’m pretty sure the dreams I’d had somehow crossed WarGames with Project X, as I’d seen scenes from WarGames being played out with chimp fighter pilots.

Project X

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Californication: Part Three

Chapter 3: Communing with Nature…and Sushi

When last we left our hero (me), I was dreaming of the deadly redwood squirrel that no one has ever before glimpsed without ending up dead. Waking in a cold sweat, I showered and left the hotel to take another brief walk through Fisherman’s Wharf on my last day in San Fran. Nothing new to report there, aside from the fact the seals at Pier 39 were engaged in an epic struggle to see who could yawn the most. After breakfast, I checked out and met up with Martha for a day full of sight-seeing and tomfoolery.

Our first stop before leaving metropolitan San Francisco was the Palace of Fine Arts, a park/arboretum/museum situated near the Presidio (or at least I’m guessing it is, what with my “extensive” knowledge of Bay Area geography).

Palace of Fine Arts

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Californication: Part Two

The epic recounting of a semi-epic journey continues. Click here for Part One.

Chapter 2: Hills-a-Roni

It was up early today for a bad-ass continental breakfast (yeah) and a stroll around Fisherman’s Wharf. Said wharf is a collection of shops, travel vendors, restaurants and other attractions scant yards from my hotel. Getting into the wharf proper, however, requires one to slip through the dense throngs of “travel agents” (read: illegal aliens getting paid $.25 an hour) trying to get you to go on their cruises and bike tours by jamming signs that say “SAIL TO ALCATRAZ!” in your face. As tempting as that was, I pulled a few spin moves and somersaults and got past the exuberant horde.

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Californication: A Novel

Introduction

Here beginneth a tale of both frivolity and peril: a recounting of the author’s quest to find the truth behind the many bridges of the Bay Area (see this week’s QotW) and their role in shaping America’s history. In addition, I will tell you about the sweet bread bowl I ate. I also saw some sweet trees and a buncha boats. There you have it–a summary of my entire trip. If that’s not enough to keep your desire for all things Fischer sated, read on for the epic tale that is Californiacation: The Official Jeff-Fischer.net 2007 California Trip Report by Jeff Fischer, author and creator of Jeff-Fischer.net, a website devoted to Jeff Fischer and his writings on myriad topics, including Jeff Fischer, who happens to have a website called Jeff-Fischer.net. Ahem.

Chapter 1: Of Airplanes and Alcatraz

Hooray for four-and-a-half-hour flights in seats you couldn’t fit a little person into, jammed against the plane wall by a large woman who speaks in a pronounced southern drawl! I’ll save the rest of my rant against AirTran Airways for another post (sooner than later) and instead focus on the lovely scenery I saw of the western United States while my face was pressed up against the window.

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