5 Minutes or 5,000 Years

I have a feeling things’ll get a bit simpler, timewise, as this season moves along, but for now things are whizzing past our heads with alarming alacrity. I’ll do my best to keep things straight for us. I don’t have an overarching theme or plot thread to talk about at length as I usually do to open these posts. Rather, as this episode seemed to be composed of disparate puzzle pieces we can now fit in to help clarify the larger picture, I think it’s best I assemble this post in much the same fashion. (Simply said, time for my patented, lazy use of bullet points!)

jughead closeup

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Burn After Reading | C-

director: Joel & Ethan Coen
starring: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Brad Pitt, Richard Jenkins

barWhat the frick was that? How do the guys who put together No Country For Old Men make this near-revolting turd of a movie? Burn After Reading tries to be many things at once, and by doing so fails miserably at all of them. Had this been strictly a screwball comedy, or strictly a spy movie, or strictly a drama/thriller, it might’ve worked. But the mashed-together genres and the transition between them are so jarring you’re left slack-jawed with incredulity. It just doesn’t work.

There are moments that should be laugh-out-loud funny; there are moments where you should be on the edge of your seat; there are moments where you almost start appreciating the great character work by the actors. But the laughter dies in your throat; the appreciation for acting fades; and the comprehension of the plot could only be considered “sound” if you’ve done copious amounts of illegal narcotics.

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Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!


[Dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Back in that hole.]

Larry made his nest up in the autumn branches
Built from nothing but high hopes and thin air
He collected up some baby blasted mothers who took their chances
And for a while they lived quite happily up there

He came from New York city man, but he couldn’t take the pace
He thought it was like a dog eat dog world
Then he went to San Francisco, spent a year in outer space
With a sweet little San Franciscan girl

I can hear my mother wailing and a whole lot of scraping of chairs

I don’t know what it is but there’s definitely some’n going on upstairs
[Dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
(I want you to dig)[Back in that hole.]

(I want you to dig)
(I want you to dig)

Well yeah, New York City, he had to get outta there
And San Francisco, well I don’t know
And then to LA, where he spent about a day
He thought even the pale sky stars were smart enough to keep well away from LA

Meanwhile, Larry made up names for the ladies
Like Miss Boo and Miss Quick
He stockpiled weapons and took potshots in the air
He feasted on their lovely bodies like a lunatic
And wrapped himself up in their soft yellow hair

I can hear chants and incantations and some guy is mentioning me in his prayers
Well, I don’t know what it is but there’s definitely some’n going on upstairs

[Dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
(I want you to dig)[Back in that hole.]

(I want you to dig)
(I want you to dig)

Well L, New York City man, San Francisco, LA, I dunno
But Larry grew increasingly neurotic and obscene
I mean he, he never asked to be raised up from the tomb
I mean, no one ever actually asked him to forsake his dreams

Anyway, to cut a long story short, fame finally found him
Mirrors became his torturers, cameras snapped him at every chance
The women all went back to their homes and their husbands
With secret smiles in the corners of their mouths

He ended up like so many of them do, back on the streets of New York City
In a soup queue, a dope fiend, a slave, then prison, then the madhouse, then the grave
Aw, poor Larry

But what do we really know of the dead and who actually cares?

Well, I don’t know what it is but there’s definitely some’n going on upstairs.

[Dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
[Laz’rus dig yourself]
(I want you to dig)[Back in that hole]

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!
Release: 2/18/08
Lyrics: Nick Cave
Music: The Bad Seeds

Crazy Ninja Moves and Spy Stuff

Home from work and ready to get recapping. Let’s not waste any time in apologizing for the delay. And let’s not waste time talking about the first 57 minutes of the episode either; I wanna get straight to the good stuff at the end, featuring Ms. Hawking & the Pendulum of Doom.


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Let’s Get Started, Shall We?

Welcome back, folks! That was a helluva way to start the season, amirite? I’m liable to jump around quite a bit here, so forgive me while I break off some rust and get back in the swing of things. Since we got two episodes tonight, two recaps you’ll get as well. Yes, yes, you’re welcome; please save your applause until the end.

Much like last season’s seminal “The Constant,” you’re liable to get lost pretty quickly if you’re not paying attention to everything Faraday’s been talking about. Hell, even if you’ve been paying close attention to all the timebending madness we’ve seen over the last season, you’re liable to be lost. Let’s try to make sense of things, shall we? I’ll first point you to the “Lost-ions” post I put up Sunday: click here. It’s a good primer to recap everything you might want to remember from the first four seasons. Go ahead; I’ll wait.

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Ha ha, I’m clever. To get you ready for the final two seasons of Lost, here are some of the questions setting my brain afire. I’m guessing season 5 will answer few of these and pose a whole mess of new ones before season 6’s Answer-a-Thon Extravaganza, but I’ll be sure to enjoy the ride this year nonetheless.

last updated 9/7/10 9:55pm

1) What is the black smoke?
From the moment our castaways heard those dinosaur/dump-truck roars emanating from whatever was crashing through the jungle, we knew something wasn’t quite right about this island. Pretty much the first “mystery” presented to the audience, Ole’ Smokey has kept our minds working overtime to try and figure out just what its purpose and origins are. A security system meant to protect the Island? The non-fictional source of the mythological 3-headed dog named Cerberus? A physical manifestation of Jacob? Nanobot swarm gone bad? Whatever the answer ends up being, it’s been fun watching Smokezilla wreak havoc.


Answer (2/2/10): The Black Smoke Monster is none other than Esau/The Man in Black. Who or what Esau actually is at still up in the air, so until we see his origins, this question still stands.

Answer #2 (5/11/10): Esau turned into Smokezilla after being thrown down the Waterfall of Light somewhere on the Island. We still need an explanation of what he is (don’t hold your breath), but it appears that golden light went out after he went down there. So he may somehow be carrying that light around with him.

smokey emerges

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Fort Collins 2008 Trip Report (Part 2)


There’s nothing quite like the 6:45 am wake-up call of a ringing phone after a night full of dancing, drinking and hospital visits to make one thrilled to be alive. I slowly peeled my eyes open, brushed some Cheetos off my pillow and picked up the phone to hear Dannyboy tell me our rental cars were going to be towed at 7am if they weren’t moved out of the neighboring bakery’s parking lot. What? Oh yeah, I parked in the bakery parking lot yesterday because there was no room in the hotel’s lot. Shit.

I didn’t “sprint” so much as I “lumbered” out of the hotel room and down to the street to move the car to a now-available spot in the parking lot. It was then back to bed for an altogether too brief hour or two. But, in actuality, sleep was low on the list of priorities this whole week. We were all having too much fun to bother meeting our daily REM sleep quotas, and today would be no exception.

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