Category: Sports

Few things are finer than reading the paper on a Sunday morning, cup of joe in hand, gnawing on a toasted bagel, and reading the letters to the editor in the sports section. Actually, nevermind–I get aggravated and concerned about the ultimate fate of humanity when I read some of these letters, a fact which gives me great anxiety and spoils my morning. Here are two such letters which my reading of led to a 6% decrease in my mental capacity:

The Sabres better get Ryan Miller straightened out or they will not get too far in the playoffs.

He lets too many easy shots get by him. Against Atlanta there was no one in front of him for about 15 feet and he let two goals in.

I still have no faith in him. Good luck.

Ed Kopias
Buffalo

And I’ve lost faith in humanity, Ed; thanks for that. Go ogle over Dominik Hasek and his stellar stats in Detroit; I’ll stick with a 40-win goaltender backstopping the team with the best record in the NHL.

Time marches on in this exciting hockey season. Despite injuries, Buffalo keeps on winning. Everything is going well except for one annoying question. Why is it that Daniel Briere and Chris Drury are still being ignored as far as next season is concerned?

Martin Biron and Jiri Novotny are gone, and the locker room is not disrupted, as Darcy Regier predicted.

My advice to Tom Golisano is to call Larry Quinn and Regier into his office and fire these two clowns. Sign Lindy Ruff to a 10-year contract and then get a higher echelon that knows how to run a hockey franchise, and watch the Sabres prosper.

Joe Mullen
Cheektowaga

Joe, I’d like to sign you to a 10-year contract with a state psychiatric facility. I’ll even throw in a leather recliner and a 42″ plasma TV, on which you can watch the Sabres’ playoff run–a 100+-point team constructed by none other than Darcy Regier.

Feb. 7 – Paul Gaustad severs a tendon in his ankle after being cut with an errant skate blade during the game against the Senators. Out for the remainder of the season.

Feb. 10 – Jaroslav Spacek breaks left hand; out 4-6 weeks.

Feb. 13 – Tim Connolly suffers a stress fracture in his leg. Out 2-3 weeks + more rehabbing from post-concussion syndrome suffered last season.

Feb. 15 – Maxim Afinogenov breaks left wrist; out 6 weeks.

Feb. 16 – Jiri Novotny – re-aggravates a nagging high ankle sprain. Out 3-6 weeks.

Feb. 16 – Ales Kotalik strains MCL in right knee. Out 4-6 weeks.

Feb. 20 – Daniel Paille breaks a finger. Out 3-4 weeks.

Despite the Buffalo Sabres now resembling an AHL team with all the call-ups from Rochester, they’ve gone 7-1-1 in February, thanks to some gritty play from the kids and some timely goal-scoring from the few veterans that have avoided the infirmary. After sleep-walking through most of January, putting in inconsistent and often half-assed effort night after night, it looks like the injuries turned a light on in the Sabres’ collective head and got them going. A little injection of hungry youth from their AHL affiliate hasn’t hurt. That being said, the team is sick and tired of the increasing roster of wounded players and that frustration finally boiled over Thursday night at home against Ottawa. The video (and Rick Jeanneret) speaks for itself.

What a game. The two teams play again on Saturday night, but I wouldn’t expect too many fireworks. Both teams will be warned by the league office and the refs that any “extra-curricular” activity will be dealt with severely. The league might not have to take that kind of position if they actually dealt with cheap shots and injuries when they happen. Alexander Ovechkin got off with a joke of a fine after running Daniel Briere into the boards from behind some months back. Some idiot took a cheap shot swing at Jaroslav Spacek from behind not long after that. Neither was severely punished, so what incentive is there for that kind of behavior to stop? You could ask the players to better police themselves, but with the increasing restrictions on fighting in the league, their hands are tied unless they’d like an automatic 10-game suspension courtesy of the instigator rule.

The league needs to get rid of the instigator rule and start punishing goons who take runs at defenseless players. If you give the players the ability to protect themselves through self-enforcement, you won’t see a cringe-worthy head injury every year, as has been the average the past decade. It’s enough.

All that being said, it’s nice to know that the Ottawa Senators are still a bunch of whiny weaklings whom we enjoy taking to the woodshed whenever we fell like it. I was impressed with goaltender Ray Emery, though. He seems to be the only Senator with a modicum of fortitude. He’s come a long way from last year’s playoffs to become a pretty decent goaltender. Good for him.

Oh, at press time, there’s now a report stating Drury is experiencing “concussion-like” symptoms today and will be out indefinitely. Hooray.

No, it’s not Joe Theismann this time around. Penthouse, long a bastion of hard-hitting, socially relevant journalism, published an interview with Bills running back Willis McGahee this week, featuring the final nail in the coffin that is his reputation and (hopefully) career with the Buffalo Bills.

First, the “highlights:”

McGahee also said he owes the Bills organization for taking a chance on him.

“I got a lotta love for Buffalo,” he said. “I thank God for the whole situation. I’m trying to make them proud. I’m trying to do some things here.”

Well, hey, maybe he isn’t such a bad guy after all.

When asked about the intensity of Bills fans, McGahee said, “A true Buffalo fan will tell a Bills player, ‘You can’t do this, you can’t do that.’ But once that player performs it’s like, ‘I told y’all he was the best player.'”

I don’t know of too many Buffalo residents who regularly use the term, “y’all.”

All this comes on the heels of a Miami Herald report that McGahee is facing his third paternity suit in two years. He’s paying child support in two cases, and a third is pending. The three children were born between Jan. 2005 and Jan. 2006.

When asked about the possibility of an NFL team in Toronto, McGahee said, “That would be a good situation. Toronto is a beautiful place. But if they’re going to put a team there, they should just bring the Buffalo Bills to Toronto. Case closed.”

Strike Three, Willis. You’ve committed the Cardinal sin above all Cardinal sins for a Buffalo athlete: you don’t diss the city and get away with it. You’ve effectively become poisoned goods and turned the city’s fan base against you with one, simple sentence. Not surprising, as your interviews over the years have shown your intelligence quotient to be somewhere on the level of 4-year old child. Actually, that would be insulting to a 4-year old. Let’s compare your intelligence to that of a retarded cow.

Willis talks to the invisible gnome wizard that resides in his helmet

After a couple years of mediocre play studded with a few above-average performances, you seemed to slowly win favor with Bills fans this year by playing hurt and actually showing some semblance of an emotional connection with the result of each Sunday’s games. As the season came to a close, however, stories started popping up about your agent, Douche-of-the-Week runner-up Drew Rosenhaus, seeking a contract extension with a signing bonus somewhere in the $10M range and a yearly salary of around $5-8M.

Your stats for this year, Willis:

No.	Yds	Avg.	Long	TD
259	990	3.8	57	6

Those are bad numbers for a 3rd down back, you ass. And you want more money than Ladainian Tomlinson? For what, exactly? I know you’ve perfected your patented move of falling down at the first sign of contact on a run, and no one in the league does it better, but wait–what? That’s not a good thing?

I’m sick of your half-ass play, sick of your stupidity, sick of your agent, sick of your inability to take responsibility for your kids, and sick of your attitude. I’m no saint and not one to judge, but I don’t have a problem holding someone who makes millions of dollars off of fans who live and die with their team every Sunday to a higher standard. And that “higher standard” isn’t exactly on par with the Pope–all it takes to reach it is displaying a modicum of effort every Sunday while showing some respect for the city you play in (by simply keeping your mouth shut). Herculean tasks, I know.

Good riddance; the Bills can’t trade you fast enough for my taste. I’ll take a running back drafted in the 6th round with something to prove over an self-entitled jerk-off like you. Go enjoy your life in South Beach or wherever else it is you want to go (anywhere that has 24-hour nightclubs and high-class escort services), since you “can’t find anything to do” in Buffalo. I guess you’re right, Buffalo just ain’t the happenin’ place to be for someone with a 3rd grade reading level. Here’s hoping GM Marv Levy continues to build this team on the foundation of character and ships this guy outta here, bidding farewell to the last vestiges of former GM Tom Donahoe’s disastrous reign.

As 2006 comes to a close, we take a look back…at this past week…this past week’s hockey games…

Tuesday
Fans barely had time to sit down in front of the TV and take a sip of beer before the Sabres buried four pucks behind head case goaltender Brent Johnson, who engineered his early exit from the game by freaking out and breaking his stick on the goal. The Sabres were up six goals to natch about 12 minutes into the 1st period. The Zamboni drivers had an easy intermission, only needing to ice Washington’s end of the rink.

Continue reading “The Week That Was”

Har Har.

For the most part, regardless of how the Bills are doing in the context of this latest NFL season, a shutout victory over the Dolphins at home always feels pretty damn good. Who would’ve believed this team had a snowball’s chance in hell of making the playoffs a few weeks ago? Granted, it’s a slim chance, but that chance is greater than 0%. Based on where my football mind was before the season (somewhere between the black abyss the Arizona Cardinals have occupied for the last decade and Camden, NJ), I’m pretty pleased with where this team is at this point.

Another in a long line of hapless Miami quarterbacks.

QB J.P. Losman has shown enough promise in the second half of the season that Buffalo fans everywhere have lowered their guns, untied their nooses and left the rooves of their buildings in the hopes that the Bills my have finally found a quarterback for the future. (A future absent of Todd Collins, Alex Van Pelt, Billy Joe Hobert and Drew Bledsoe.) There are enough young guys proving themselves that the losses the team is sure to suffer in the offseason (CB Nate Clements, LB London Fletcher, and some other vets) are sure to be surmountable.

This team has shown promise like this before, though, so leave that door to the roof unlocked for now, Buffalo. I’ll be content with a respectable showing this year with an eye toward an improved 2007. But it may be way too soon to use Bills Parcells’ Patented Anointing Oil on a team that is likely another year away from a playoff berth.

***

Speaking of playoff berths, here’s what needs to happen for the Bills to make the postseason, courtesy of WGR 550:

First things first…the Bills must beat TEN and BAL. Then, they must find themselves ahead of 3 teams currently tied at 8-6. The Bills have to pass 3 of these 4 teams: CIN, DEN, JAX, and NYJ (all 8-6).

Cincinnati:
If CIN beats IND, then they need just 1 more win (against either DEN or PIT) to get to 10 wins, and clinch a spot ahead of Buffalo. The Bills need CIN to lose 2 out of 3…but WHO they lose to matters. If common opponents becomes an issue (NE, BAL, SD, IND) Cincy would be 1-3 going into tonight, and losing to the Colts would mean 1-4, matching Buffalo’s mark of 1-4. From there it goes to strength of victory, where things go crazy, depending on WHO the Bengals beat in their 1 allowed win in the next 3 games. (Beating Denver is better for Cincy than beating Pittsburgh, based on the team’s records and also what those two teams do in the OTHER game they play this year – Den v. SF and Pit v. Baltimore)

Denver:
The Broncos still play home against CIN and SF. In order to pass Denver, the Broncos must LOSE both games. If they lose to CIN and beat SF that would put Denver 9-7, 7-5 in conference (matching the Bills), and the tiebreaker would go to common opponents: NE, BAL, SD, IND. Denver’s record is 2-3…Buffalo’s is 1-4. You need Denver to lose both.

If KC wins their last two and Denver splits their last two, then they each end up 9-7 and only one can advance in a 3-way or more team tie since they are in the same division. KC has the tiebreaker and would eliminate Denver. Bills have the tiebreaker over KC.

Jacksonville:
The Jags play home against New England, and on the road in Kansas City. If they lose either one of those games, the Bills would pass them.

New York Jets:
The Jets can CLINCH a spot OVER BUFFALO by beating Miami. It would put their division record at 4-2, ensuring that they win a tiebreaker. The Jets need to LOSE to Miami…the Oakland game is irrelevant for the Bills. A loss to Miami would put the Jets at 3-3 in the division, tied with the Bills at 9-7, and their conference record would be lower at 6-6.

-Jeremy White, WGR55

Oh, and another thing that I could probably devote an entire post to, but won’t because it gives me a headache just thinking about it: I get the distinct impression ABC play-by-play man Al Michaels is more concerned with his tee time and the rarity of his steak than he is about a job that pays him millions to do an adequate job of calling a football game. God forbid Sunday Night Football takes place in a cold weather market. That prima donna might flip out and lock himself in his dressing room.

That’s all.

Never, ever, ever, under any circumstance–not even under pain of death by a stampeding herd of yaks–should you ever leave a bar packed full of hockey fans when your Buffalo Sabres are down by “only” three goals.

Sabres 5, Bruins 4 (SO)…oh, how sweet it is.

Well, I was hoping to be writing this post after the Sabres had set the NHL mark for most consecutive victories to begin a season but alas, it was not meant to be last night in HSBC Arena as Buffalo fell to the Atlanta Thrashers 5-4 in a shootout. The result didn’t end up putting a damper on the night altogether, as the fans rose as one to give the team a standing ovation until the Sabres responded by gathering at center ice and raising their sticks in salute to the raucous fans that live and die with their sports teams. It was a great moment to witness in person, regardless of the game’s outcome (though, if they’d lost 8-2, it might not have been so great).

Goalie Ryan Miller wasn’t his old, spectacular self, letting in a couple of questionable goals he should’ve had. The five guys playing in front of him didn’t do him any favors, however. Three of the four goals Atlanta scored in regulation came as a result of careless giveaways by the Sabres in the offensive zone, and not because of any pressure the Thrashers were applying. Max Afinogenov tried to pull off a nifty but wholly unnecessary no-look, between-the-legs back-pass just across the blue line. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a Sabre within 8 feet of the puck and he served it up to a streaking Bobby Holik, who found the back of the net. Couple that with the Sabres’ inability to win key face-offs and they were playing from behind all night.

Continue reading “Saturday Night's Alright”