Category: Movie Reviews

director: Hideo Nakata
starring: Naomi Watts, Simon Baker, David Dorfman

There’s not a whole lot to say about Ring Two, other than it certainly seems to be directed well. Other than that, it’s a massive borefest. Picking up about 6 months after the events of the original Ring, the flick starts with two more idiots watching the infamous tape–which they soon regret–and then we’re off and running….well, maybe it’s more of a brisk walk. Ring Two is not horribly bad, but it’s not good, either–it’s simply boring. I’m not sure I could even call it a horror movie, as it purportedly claims to be, as there wasn’t more than a minute of screentime that I found “scary.” After a pretty decent first movie, I’d expected a bit more out of this. Nakata’s direction is certainly nice; I liked a lot of the shots and overall cinematography. It just doesn’t make up for the lack of story.

One good moment features some ill-tempered elk (though without frickin’ laser beams on their heads) having an argument with a Volkswagen, but moments like these were few and far between. So, it’s not worth a rental, it’s not worth 2 hours on HBO. You can safely avoid it, unless you’re looking to fall asleep.

director: Jan de Bont
starring: Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric, Willem Dafoe

Another Hollywood “cash in on the popularity of an okay first movie” sequel, Speed 2 features the same taut, exciting action–except on a cruise ship taken over by an insane Willem Dafoe! I caught this on cable the other day, not remembering how bad it was. Basically, Bullock and Patric are on vacation (on said cruise ship), and having a lovely time until nutjob Dafoe takes control of the ship with an elaborate series of remotely-detonated smoke bombs (that’s right: smoke bombs). Anyway, after some brief and altogether unnecessary exposition of his motives, the movie basically consists of a series of shots of the cruise ship sailing toward objects. Insert shot of cruise ship going fast; cut to shot of oil tanker; cut back to cruise ship going fast; cut to shot of oil tanker, slightly closer; cut to shot of cruise ship going fast; cut to shot of oil tanker, seemingly a hundred feet away; cut back to cruise ship…you get the idea.

Despite the cruise ship being about a hundred yards away, it takes about 20 minutes for it to reach the tanker. This sequence is essentially repeated with a seaside commerce area a few minutes later. All in all, shots of “boat going fast” take up about 78% of the movie.

I haven’t said much about the acting thus far because, well, there’s not much to say about the acting. Despite all this, it’s worth seeing solely for Willem Dafoe’s fantastic, maniacal laughter at the end. Sandra Bullock’s easy on the eyes, too. Oh, and font like this indicates the movie will be fraught with fast-paced, exciting action!!!! RUSH HOUR HITS THE WATER!!!

director: Michael Bay
starring: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson

Bay’s noble attempt at a thought-provoking narrative still manages to fall flat, with its emphasis on MTV-style visuals over any real substance. The former music video director still seems to think throwing filters on the camera and shooting from odd angles while inducing seizures with the camera equates to a solid flick. While he can–at times–excel in the popcorn department, Bay’s movies will never have the emotional resonance you’ll find coming from flicks by more renowned directors. The Island is probably Bay’s first attempt at even trying to focus on any dramatic narrative and pacing, but there are times when you can tell he’s just bursting to launch into a ridiculously-sweeping crane shot of a sepia-toned shootout on a highway amidst flying jet bikes, giant semis and Volvos spontaneously exploding when impacted by giant train wheels. Oh wait, he did do that.

There’s not much that can be said for the acting, though McGregor and Johnasson seem to give it an effort. It’s difficult to convey any sort of authentic human interaction when they’re running as fast as they can from the “bad guys.” In fact, there’s so much running, this flick should’ve been retitled “The Running Man (& Woman) II.” Ha ha ha ha haa, that’s not funny. But yeah, they run. Here are pages 4 through 118 of the script:

EXT. Barren landscape and/or metropolitan area

LINCOLN
Run!!

They run.

At the very least, the movie is relatively interesting early on, but the childlike Bay can’t wait to blow the surprise and chief conceit of the film and get right to the action. So, in summary, check your brain at the door and be ready for explosions, jet bikes, and the fantastic overacting of Michael Clarke Duncan!

director: Doug Liman
starring: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie

A “domestic spy thriller” that’s heavy on look and light in the realism department, but still manages to entertain. Pitt and Jolie are both good as the title characters, fighting against each other, and against a horde of masked men that apparently can’t aim a gun to save their life. Liman, the director of The Bourne Identity, is a good director, but he seems to have developed a slight case of ‘Michael Bay-itis’ in this flick, using sweeping camera moves and odd angles during relatively benign sequences (do we really need a crane shot to show Pitt walking?).

The action in the flick is good, if wildly implausible, but it’s enjoyable if you’re willing to substantially suspend your disbelief. Jolie’s smoking hot, so it’s probably worth seeing just for her as well. I’ll assume the ladies like Pitt as well.

The plot is pretty throwaway, moving from one big action sequence to the next, Jolie and Pitt bantering about the lies they’ve told each other over the years in the downtime between gunshots. Worth a look, at any rate, but a rental moreso than ownership of the movie now on DVD.

director: Paul Greengrass
starring: Matt Damon, Joan Allen, Brian Cox, Karl Urban

Supremacy continues the trend of “intelligent action” that the first Bourne movie started; though this time around it’s a much leaner movie: short on dialogue and long on action sequences, but no less entertaining on a psychological level than the first movie. Wow, that was a great run-on sentence. The action is great, and I think the movie has one of the best car chase sequences ever put on film. The realism factor here is what really sells the flick, too. You’re not gonna see that kung fu, flying through the air fights while firing at each other with a gun in each hand. You get right in close here, mano y mano, each landing body blows and struggling to hold their opponent off. The only issue some might have is getting headache during said fights because of the ultra-quick cuts and pans, but I love it. I’m really impressed with the Bourne movies thus far, and I hope The Bourne Ultimatum concludes the series with the same intelligence the first two have exhibited.

director: Doug Liman
starring: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Brian Cox

There are very few “intelligent” movies nowadays, and even fewer that are also entertaining. The Bourne Identity succeed in both areas, managing to be a thinking man’s action flick. That is not to say there’s not a lot of popcorn action, but the characters, script and background are fleshed out enough to make it a worthwhile watching experience. You can categorize Identity along with popcorn movies like Face/Off, Die Another Day, and XXX, but it’s presented with a higher degree of realism and intelligence, and that elevates it over the action genre. It’s a taut, fast-paced movie, and a highly-enjoyable one at that.

director: Peter Jackson
starring: Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortenson, Ian McKellan

The conclusion to the Lord of the Rings saga clocks in at a hefty 3.5+ hours, but it seemed to fly by when I saw it the first time. It’s hard to imagine how Peter Jackson could conclude all of the story threads started throughout the previous two films, but amazingly enough, he pulls it off with flying colors. The battle on the plains in front of Minas Tirith will likely go down as the greatest battle sequence ever put to celluloid (at least, the greatest battle created within a computer), and the acting in Return of the King is perhaps the strongest of any of the three Rings films. There’s not a lot I can say that hasn’t already been said about these flicks, but the heaps of praise and awards these films have garnered are more than deserved.

director: Peter Jackson
starring: Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortenson, Ian McKellan

The second chapter of the Lord of the Rings saga picks up pretty much right where Fellowship left off; and the quality is maintained throughout. The fact that all 3 movies were filmed at once results in a seamless transition from movie to movie, and the resulting work (acting, directing, set design, etc, etc) all reaches a standard that is maintained. The CG work in Two Towers is what may stand out the most, the character work on Gollum likely being the pinnacle of computer-generated character animation to this point. Culminating with one of the greatest battles ever “filmed” at Helm’s Deep, The Two Towers more than holds its own as a standalone movie; but more than adequately bridges the first movie and the saga’s conclusion in Return of the King.

director: Peter Jackson
starring: Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortenson, Ian McKellan

The first chapter in the Lord of the Rings movie saga, much of Fellowship is spent introducing us to Middle Earth and its characters, chiefly those will become the entitled fellowship. It is difficult to imagine the confluence of events and luck to result in such a nearly perfect fantasy epic, with everything from casting to the music to the locations to the acting being almost note-perfect. It’s an enormous achievement visually. Despite it being the introductory chapter to a huge film saga, it stands on its own as a fantastic film. Regardless of whether you like fantasy films, of have read the books, Fellowship of the Ring is worth seeing simply as a monument to what film production at its finest can be.

director: Steven Spielberg
starring: Eric Bana, Ciaran Hinds, Geoffrey Rush

If I were in the cliche business of writing movie poster taglines, I’d call Munich a “taut, edge-of-your-seat thriller.” And it is just that, though I think it does a disservice to the movie to try and pigeonhole it into the “action thriller” genre, as it is much more. The basic plot follows an Israeli Mossad agent and 4-man team’s functioning as a covert cell sent by the Israeli government to exact revenge for the deaths of the Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympic Games in Munich. Along with all of the movie’s exciting action and drama, Spielberg clearly was trying to send a message with the flick, about the futility of the seemingly endless struggle between Israeli Zionists and the Arab Palestinians hellbent on destroying each other so they can simply have someplace they call “home.”

But as history has shown us, violence only begets more violence; and revenge against the terrorist group that killed the Israeli athletes at the Olympics, in this case, only begets more revenge. It’s a cautionary tale-of-sorts, but it still has significance today, as the conflict between the Arab world and Israel continues to rage. In terms of the film itself, from the superb acting (Eric Bana in particular) to John Williams’ score to Spielberg’s deft directorial hand, there’s never a false note here. Absolutely one of the best films of 2005, Munich will be sure to garner a lot of attention for the Academy Awards next year.