I’ll leave it to Steve to set up one night’s events at the everyone’s favorite local East Aurora haunt, Riley St. Station:
Dannyboy ordered 8 shots of Jager….and the bartender poured out 3. So I said “Came up a little short in that pour huh?” She then proceeded to give me a dirty look and said that I’m cut off. I shook my head, and did the shot once she poured out the rest. 3 minutes later Andy bought 4 beers, and gave me one when the girl turned around to make change. When she came back Andy said he needed another one…for who she asked? He said it was for him since he was a fast drinker. genius! So she told me to put my arms up…I said, are you a cop? So I put my hands up in the air after I put the beer between my legs. Then She told me to stand up. While I was questioning her sanity I was leaning down and putting the beer on the ground…and she didn’t buy the performance. She told me to get out….and started yelling for the bouncer.
So Steve decides to walk all the way home instead of waiting about 30 seconds for a ride. Andy, it should be mentioned, also got cut off because of the dastardly bartender. He stuck around for a bit, or maybe his outrageous turtleneck sweater had taken control of his mind by that point and forced him to stay (more on that coming soon). A short time later, I found Andy near the door of the bar, having somehow obtained two beers (one for his beer, one for his symbiotic turtleneck) despite his illegal alien status at Riley’s. No sooner had I started talking to him than the other bartender chick darts out from behind the bar and zeroes in on Andy like a heat-seeking missile. She yanks the beers out of his hands and says “get out!” before motioning to the bouncers. I should point out that said bouncers were two high school-looking kids who probably couldn’t beat down a drunk paper bag, let alone a drunk guy in an outrageous turtleneck sweater. But Andy, gentleman and scholar that he is, left under his own power. He had his sweet revenge outside, though, hurling insults at the brick wall out behind the building. I think I saw him shake his fist in the air in defiance as well.
Coming soon: more on that turtleneck; and the harrowing tale of Dannyboy’s up-close encounter with the dreaded small mammal attack.