Dirty Sanchez

I was recently provided with the business card below, and apparently, Justin’s been moonlighting on the side in an industry that might shock you. All this time, I figured he spent his spare time out in the woods chasing squirrels for dinner, but no–he nefariously misled us all. I feel betrayed, yet still hope to benefit from this discovery….in the form of boxes upon boxes of tacos.

Business Card

I was given this card on the condition that I DO reveal the identity of my source, this so-called Mexican Deep Throat. Without further adieu, I give you Julio Escuela, purveyor of salsa-filled maracas:

Julio

He is clearly a publicity hound, but also has the finest salsa-filled maracas this side of Tijuana. I made a deal to get in on the ground floor of his burgeoning salsa-filled maraca business, for the bargain price of $35,000. I’ll be rolling in the dough before you know it.

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