Part 4: A Trip to the Ghetto

Timmy drowned. I know, I'm sorry, it doesn't make for the best of circumstances to continue this report but I'll press on nonetheless.

As I said, most of the night was hazy, so I think we might've gone back down to the casino for a little bit and then came back up and racked out. I think our first night together was the perfect introduction to learning your limits and losing half your money. The next three nights would be hard-pressed to compare to the first, but I think we were determined to try and commit at least 8 felonies over their course anyway.

Day Two (Friday)

We all wake up in various states of dishevelment, all pretty much hung over. I'm not sure at what point we realized one of our own was missing; it may have been when we went down to breakfast. Martha was the one in question. At some point the previous night, we had left her at a roulette table before heading up to the rooms. We figured she had gotten up earlier than us and was getting some food or walking around somewhere. Looking back, that probably wasn't the best attitude to have. "Oh, one of our group is nowhere to be found? It's not like we all got ripped the previous night and went out on the town. Enh, whatever, I'm sure she'll turn up."

Timmy was dead only hours later

So we got some breakfast at this little cafe/convenience mart right on the edge of the casino floor. Your typical Vegas eatery: Gatorades for 4 bucks and danishes for 6. We eat and realize we should probably go take a look around for Martha. Lo and behold, Martha is sitting pretty much right where we left her, at the same roulette table. She had, we'll say, an "excited" look in her eye, the kind of excitement only achieved by sitting at a roulette table for 10 hours straight in Vegas. Having reconstituted the group, our next stop was the "resort" area of Mandalay Bay, namely, the pool.

A few of us first decided to actually venture out of the Mandalay Bay property and cross into what I like to call the ghetto. Las Vegas' ghetto is a nearly vacant lot directly across the street from Mandalay. It's amusing to see stores worth about $500 bucks sitting on a lot worth about $100 billion. The lot featured such fine establishments as Julio's Dumpster Hauling and Frank's Save-mart. Having no dumpsters that needed moving, we opted for Frank's to pick up some brewdogs and Cheetos. This accounts for the money spent most wisely that weekend, as who doesn't love a good brewdog and some Cheetos? I should note that we were almost hit by seven cars while crossing Las Vegas Boulevard, all of us seemingly oblivious to mortal danger surrounding us. Who cares, we got Cheetos!

After that little jaunt and a quick stop at the hotel room, we made a stop at the parking garage to pick up some stuff from Steve's car. The most important addition being some magic cake. Magic cake has many special ingredients, all of which contribute to its magical effects. It's magic, you see, so explaining it to someone not familiar with magic is a waste of time.

The ghetto, far below our room

We made our way down to the pool and, since each entrant is required to have a room key, we had to pass the key back a la a driver's license at the bar when you're trying to get your underage friend in as well. (For legal purposes, the previous statement was not true.) Did I mention we had 11 people in the two rooms, but that the hotel doesn't allow more than 4 in each? Right.

Jamie finally arrived about this time and was guided down to the pool by Andy, still sporting his hobo shirt and jeans. She shared with us her travel nightmare thus far, having been bumped off her initial flight the night before and nearly getting screwed out of her next flight as well. Yeah! Time to put that behind her and soak up some cancer rays!

Surrounded by palm trees and dotted with pools, hot tubs and lazy rivers, the resort was just what the doctor ordered to regain our sapped energy and alcohol tolerances from the night previous. As you would certainly guess, we all became strangely excited at the prospect of the lazy river. I call this next section "Lazy River Hijinx."