Vegas by the Numbers - brought to you by MasterCard™

Number of people in our "crew:" 13
Gin & tonics consumed by yours truly: 58
Money lost by yours truly: $280
Number of NASCAR fans in Vegas for the Las Vegas 400: 86,000
Number of objectionable NASCAR fans in Vegas for the Las Vegas 400: 85,489
(apologies to any NASCAR fans reading this)
Number of actual meals consumed: 2
Ratio of alcohol to food consumption: 64-to-1
Cars almost hit by while crossing LV Blvd: 4
Ross' catchphrase: "HEY!"
Number of times Ross uttered his catchphrase: 362
Minutes it took for Jeff to get a sunburn at the resort: 0.86
Dollars for a Tangueray & Tonic at Red Square: $11.50
Dollars for their most expensive drink (consisting of vodka and, like, four olives): $48.00
Number of times Dan brought up Siegfried & Roy: 7
Total # of laps in the Lazy River: 48
Total # of laps in the Lazy River during which Jeff "died:" 3
Number of tram rides from Mandalay to Excalibur and back: 3
Number of tram rides from Mandalay to Excalibur that included drunken NASCAR couples with handlebar mustaches: 3
# of $20 "Cuban" cigars smoked at Spearmint Rhino: 3
Number of Tall Boys consumed: 1
Degree of amusement Jeff gets from the phrase "Tall Boy" when juxtaposed with Ross drinking one: 10 (out of 10)
Degree of amusement Jeff thinks Ross will get from the catbox picture in the image gallery: 14 (out of 10)
# of celebrity sightings: 0
Probability of having seen a NASCAR celebrity and not knowing it: 88%
Jobs lost because of trip: 1 (Mr. Schultz--I think because of his unfashionable hobo shirt)

Post Script

I'm now writing this sentence having just finished the report, and I'm strongly considering punching up and looking up flights back to Leave it to Adelphia to get me grounded back to reality. Hope you all enjoyed the report and I can't wait to see what happens next year.


Dan Moskowitz

Oh yeah, and we never got to go to the shark reef and I'm effing pissed! (remember, I'm Dan Moskowitz)

Vegas Image Gallery
Vegas Video
Mandalay Bay Site

Thanks to Mr. Dusel for use of some of his photographs.

Part 10: Parting Thoughts